Midge the Tree

I've found myself growing more dissatisfied with romantic standards over time. And, as I looked more into how the mod worked, I realized there were features that I didn't care about, fixes simler90 neglected, and of course room for 3t2 traits to be taken into consideration. The end result is 26 different mods(!) affecting the game's romance system.

I included and separately uploaded a lengthy documentation, because again 26 mods, so I ask you to please read that for a description of each mod. That said, here are some highlights:

First, let's talk traits. I've added trait consideration into two mods: "RomanticStandards-attraction", which drops a lot of the non-fix features of romantic standard's attraction calculation but does add an attraction boost to "irresistible" sims, and "RomanticStandards-respectcommitmentornot". You see, in a vanilla game sims already do have standards and are much more limited in actions they'll autonomously initiate/accept with a sim they aren't already in crush/love with if they or the other sim are already in a relationship with someone else, unless both sims are romance sims. Now sims with "commitment issues" can also ignore committed relationships regardless of aspiration and "hopeless romantic" romance sims will still respect the committed relationships of themselves and others. This affects the likelihood of autonomous affairs. There's also a "steady/engagement/marriage memories - commitment issues/hopeless romantic" mod which make sims with commitment issues get negative memories of entering those relationships and hopeless romantics get positive memories, regardless of aspiration.

A system you'll also see vastly changed is jealousy. I've previously released a mod that uses anti-jealousy potions, traits, and ACR token jealousy settings to determine when a sim should get jealous and default to only getting jealous if they're on a date with the sim or in a committed relationship with them, but now with "RomanticStandards-Jealousy" you'll get all that and one of my favorite RS features, that sims don't always react to jealousy scenarios the same way. They can appear angry if mean, horrified if they're neither nice nor mean and the event triggering the jealousy was severe enough (woohoo, kissing, making out), or frowning otherwise. A mean sim will still slap, but with not-so-mean sims a more outgoing sim may yell, whereas a shyer sim in the same situation will simply watch distressed. You may also find situations where, say, a nice sim sees their partner reject a romantic social from a stranger and they don't make a big deal out of it because, well, their partner was being loyal and they're nice enough to give the stranger some benefit of the doubt. So much more reasonable than Maxis's system!

Anyway I've been playing with these in my game for a while now, but I thought I'd put them up for beta first so I can get some feedback and be sure I'm happy with how they work before I release them officially.

5/11/20: Fixed an error that made the no jealousy trait not get recognized.

5/13/20: Updated the documentation, added a jealousyrereact mod, added an acr version of the jealousyfixes mod, and edited jealousy to take into consideration ACR's global and lot overrides as well as individual tokens.

5/22/20: Updated attraction, jealousy, and respect commitment to better account for polygamous relationships ('respect commitment' won't make sims not interact autonomously with spouse B because of the existence of spouse A, attraction will allow for sims to be attracted to all their spouses instead of just one, and jealousy won't give affair memories to sims interacting with a steady/fiancee/spouse if they have another steady/fiancee/spouse). Also increased the base odds for crush/love in slower feelings, since it seemed near-impossible before.

5/22/20: Fixed bug with postmortemrelflags.

5/28/20: Looser romantic restrictions is now loosened specifically for romance sims who aren't hopeless romantics and sims with commitment issues, so the autonomous affairs it encourages are in-character.

I am also now including "commitmentissues-hopelessromantic_steadyengagementmarriagememories" in the RAR, which makes whether steady/engagement/marriage memories are good or bad partly dependent on traits (hopeless romantics always get good memories regardless of aspiration, commitment issues always get bad memories regardless of aspiration). It wasn't included originally due to not being inspired directly by my examination of the original romantic standards mod (in fact, it can be used with the original RS without conflict), but I've realized for the official release I can make things less overwhelming by dividing the mods up among multiple posts and given that I feel it'll make sense to include this mod in one of the posts.

5/29/20: Fixed bug in looser romantic restrictions.

5/29/20: Fixed bug in jealousy.

7/4/20: commitmentissues-hopelessromantic_steadyengagementmarriagememories now also applies for table engagements.

7/10/20: Added a holiday kiss fix because sims could kiss their relatives (despite what Maxis originally intended), gay sims could autonomously kiss sims of another gender (even though straight sims wouldn't autonomously kiss sims of the same gender), and sometimes the BHAV wouldn't even finish checking all the sims to add them to the pie menu. Basically a mess all around.

7/17/20: Fixed issue with looser romantic restrictions that caused the checks to be onesided (would check if the initiating sim was a non-hopeless-romantic romance sim or had commitment-issues but wouldn't check the target), which isn't what I intended.

7/23/20: Fixed bug in jealousy mod that caused it to misidentify jealousy levels with ACR, made slower feelings two times slower.

7/25/20: Slower feelings now stops sims from falling in crush/love outside their gender preference, updated the recommended mods list in the documentation.

7/31/20: Added a rejected surprise engagement memory fix. Attraction now won't only give the beauty wish benefit to sims of the sim's preferred gender if they are bi.

8/2/20: A big update this time!
Jealousyfixes: Now the jealousy/parent romance emitters are properly killed after hot tub cuddling.
Attraction: Now secondary aspirations count towards attraction (inspired by HobbesEd's mod, but redone by myself). The fix for the beauty wish for bi sims now fully works.
Steady/Engagement/Marriage Memories: Now "go steady" memories only take into account primary aspiration not secondary, for consistency with engagement/marriage memories.
Greeting/Goodbye Kisses Restrictions: If you use a mod so teens don't lose love/crush but don't want teen/adult relationships, this will stop teens from kissing/being kissed by adults/elders in greeting/goodbye. Also stops sims who haven't kissed anyone yet from initiating greeting/goodbye kisses.
Jealousy: Added a new (experimental) feature has been added to jealousy so if sims A & B woohoo while Sim C is a room over but can see them through the window they'll be able to tell what's happening regardless of logic skill and get jealous.
Some mods have been unsorted. Thanks to SimNopke for that, the new fix, the seeing-through-window feature, and generally being helpful in finding & fixing issues/inconsistencies.

ETA: Added mirror link. File there is more recently updated than on SFS because the documentation has had the recommended mods section updated.

8/14/20: "Jealousy fixes" has also been replaced with an unsorted version, as it was supposed to be last update. Nopke also made an alternate version of "jealousy" so the default jealousy level (without no jealousy traits/potions/teas or ACR tokens)is "in love" instead of "steady/engaged", meaning sims will exhibit jealousy over sims they are in love with even if they aren't in a committed relationship/on a date. "Object interaction test fix" has been fixed to disable car woohoo/kiss/makeout from bigfoots unless you have the bigfoot romance mod and disable woohoo interactions for sims who haven't had their first kiss (like makeout interactions already are). Last update's unsorting also messed up the fix in "attraction" that stopped sims from being to check out their in-laws and also messed up the spouse check, I have refixed these issues.

8/23/20: Made versions of object interaction test fix and unrejectable socials fix that are compatible with visit other sims and no spoon wh

9/30/20: Tent woohoo reject fix has been replaced with tent woohoo fixes, which includes the additional fix that tent woohoo can invoke jealousy. Jealousy has been updated so sims in a different room now won't be able to detect rejected woohoo, only getting jealous/scolding if the woohoo is accepted.

11/26/20: Attraction should no longer stop spouses from being able to 'check sim out'. Tent woohoo fixes is desorted. New versions of looser romance restrictions and respect commitment or not so non-hopeless-romantic romance secondaries who either a) don't have a family primary or b) have a family primary but are dating/engaged/married to a romance primary/secondary will more readily initiate/accept romantic interactions with sims also in that category/with commitment issues/who are non-hopeless-romantic romance primaries. Also with looser romance restrictions v2, no sims will suddenly stop 'dating around' because they fell in love, no longer even being on the receiving end of new romantic interactions: they can continue to autonomously romantically interact with non-crushes/loves until they enter a committed relationship.

1/9/21: Sims in a committed relationship with multiple other sims won't get scolded when interacting with their committed partners.

🆕 12/19/21: Fixed issue with commitmentissues-hopelessromantic_steadyengagementmarriagememories.package, now traits should be properly found and recognized.

This mod makes the game check for ACR token stats and recent use of anti-jealousy potions to decide when a sim should get jealous; if a sim doesn't have an ACR token and hasn't used an anti-jealousy potion, they should only get jealous if they are currently on a date or in a committed relationship (steady/engaged/married) with the other sim.

Also, it's worth noting you can BCON tune ACR to change the automatic jealousy settings of different aspirations. The BCON is "Tuning - Casual Romance - Token Personality Mods" (with the values in question being at the bottom) and values should be set to 0 for no jealousy, 1 for married only, 2 for steady/engaged/married, 3 for love, 4 for crush.

This mod should replace Smonaff's jealousy check mod included with the anti-jealousy potion.


The original requester suggested some kind of social to propose an open relationship. The simplest way to do so would be have the social, if accepted, set both sims' ACR jealousy setting to none - if anyone has an argument for taking the time to develop something that'd allow for more nuance (eg., still getting jealous in other relationships but not in the one they agreed to open) feel free to try and convince me, but I figure this will probably work and make a fair amount of sense.

Really what's more important is seeing if the jealousy mod works, since it can be tricky to test all possible scenarios by myself. If sims act in a way that contradicts their ACR jealousy setting, or still exhibits jealousy after drinking Smonaff's anti-jealousy potion, or anything else that suggests the mod isn't working as intended, let me know!


🆕 2/11/20: First of all, I created a No Jealousy trait. The mod has been updated so that sims with this trait won't express jealousy. I also created the promised social! It uses conversation anims, and if it goes well ends with a romantic hug (and setting both party's ACR token's jealousy setting to 'none', and giving them each a No Jealousy trait (if user has downloaded it)). I like the idea of framing it as a conversation but I'm open to feedback. Social is available between sims in a committed relationship where at least one party is capable of jealousy (no No Jealousy trait and either no ACR token or an ACR token with a jealousy setting other than 'none').

ETA: It's now been officially released!

Sims who have a "had an affair" memory with no following "got caught cheating" memory can "confess to cheating" to their "steady"/fiancee/spouse. It leads to a slapfest, relationship drop (both between Sim A and Sim B, and between Sim B and the sim Sim A had their most recent affair with - eg. if Don confesses to cheating on Cassandra, she'll wind up furious with Nina because that's the most recent person Don remembers having an affair with), and "caught cheating/got caught cheating" memories. It's non-autonomous.


First of all, is using memories the best way to go about this? If you find that the interaction is available/unavailable in a situation where that doesn't make sense "story-wise" describe your sims' situation to me so I can see how to make the checks smarter about when the action is available.

Also, I'm not sure I ~love~ the anims - it starts with a appreciate-reject anim and then goes into the slapping but if you have better suggestions hit me up.

If you have any other recommendations feel free to tell me!


2/5/19: Now there are both accept and reject states. Both start off with the "apologize" anims, then go into the "smooth talk" accept or "romantic hug" reject anims, and if rejected ends with a more subdued slap anim. Both give "caught cheating" memories and lower relationship, but the accepted state leaves them with no furiousness and with less of a relationship drop. Also moved some code around so /hopefully/ the reject state will always properly clear Sim B's heart flags.

Sim B will always reject if they know they've been cheated on before (even if it was in a previous relationship - that hurt can carry over into future relationships). Otherwise, they'll always accept if they have at least a 100/70 relationship to Sim A (or 90/70 but Sim A has max charisma, or 91/70 if Sim A has 9 charisma, etc.) or both 100 STR to Sim A and Sim A has max charisma. Otherwise it comes down to mood. A lot of this stuff is BCON-configurable - I'm still trying to find a good balance.

🆕 2/6/19: Now niceness, shyness, and playfulness are taken into account in determining if Sim B will take it well, and I upped some of the thresholds so sims are more likely to reject. Charisma, niceness, shyness, and playfullness are all added to the STR of Sim B to Sim A to determine if sims pass the STR threshold, with charisma added twice: how much the personality traits are worth and what the thresholds are is all tunable, but I wanted strict conditions for Sim B taking it well.

ETA: It's now been officially released!

I've made a couple of custom socials, so I'll share them here for testing first in case I made any mistakes/wind up thinking of further improvements. Once they've gone a week without being updated I'll post the links on tumblr as well.

vamptabularasa: Vampires can perform a modified form of Tabula Rasa that'll erase the victim's memories of and relationship with the vampire. Removes committed relationship/friend/best friend/enemy/BFF flags, unlinks them in the family tree and removes the family flag if they're spouses, removes the victim's crush/love flags with the vampire, and removes furious tokens from the victim towards the vampire. Uses the OFB sales/manipulate animations since that's now my go-to for vampires, and is found under Voodoo/Tabula Rasa (or some equivalent translation) since I use my "vampires can 'voodoo'" mod and thought it'd be nice to group all this stuff together.

assesspast: Werewolves and/or aliens can assess other sims, learning gossip about them in the process. Thought bubbles will appear to clue you in to what memory they've learned, and the memory will always be one that's not about the werewolf/alien (since most of the memories they could have where the subject is the werewolf/alien are ones the werewolf/alien would already know, like 'sim went to college' or 'met sim'). Aliens must have SophieDavid's alien token to be recognized as such.

assessmood: This one's actually not a custom social, but a tweak of a Maxis one so werewolves and/or aliens can assess the mood of other sims. It works, I'm just holding off so I can release it alongside assesspast. Aliens must have SophieDavid's alien token to be recognized as such.

asktoleavepartner: If two sims are in love with each other and one of them is married or engaged with someone else, they can be asked to break up with their partner. If Sim B loves their partner and has higher LTR with their partner than with Sim A or equal LTR but higher STR, they'll reject Sim A. If they accept and their partner is on the lot the break-up will begin.

ETA: Well it's been a week, and since based on the feedback I got the mods work as intended they have been officially released on tumblr. Thanks for testing the mods out!